Last Updated: November 10, 2026
Quick Summary
To teach empathy, adults should model it in daily life, name feelings often, and use stories and pretend play so children practise seeing other points of view. Start with simple words and short moments, since empathy grows slowly through everyday interactions. Young children can begin showing early empathy in the toddler years.
- Name your own feelings out loud so children hear emotion words in everyday use.
- Follow five steps: notice the feeling, name it, connect it to the body, ask what helps, then move to another person.
- Use feelings charades, teddy bear doctor and swap roles to practise seeing other points of view.
- Introduce one new feeling word per week and revisit it in stories, play and real moments.
- If a child does not respond empathetically, stay calm, name what you see and return to the moment later.
Table of Contents
- What Empathy Means for Young Children and Why It Matters
- Model Empathy in Everyday Moments
- How to Explain Empathy to a Child in Simple Words
- Step-by-Step: Helping Children Name Feelings and See Other Points of View
- Empathy Activities for Preschoolers and Toddlers
- Teaching Empathy in the Classroom: Routines That Work
- Choosing Books About Empathy for Children
- When a Child Does Not Respond Empathetically and What to Try Next
- Frequently Asked Questions
What Empathy Means for Young Children and Why It Matters
Empathy is the ability to notice how another person feels and understand why. For young children, it grows slowly, one small moment at a time. Teaching empathy to young children helps them get along with friends, settle into classroom life and cope with their own big feelings.
Most children begin to show early signs of empathy in the toddler years. They may offer a toy or pat a crying friend. Their understanding grows through the preschool years and into the early school years. That is why the way adults respond matters so much.
Empathy, Compassion, Sympathy and Kindness: What Is the Difference?
These words are often used as if they mean the same thing. They are related, but they are not identical.
- Empathy is feeling with someone, or understanding what they feel.
- Sympathy is feeling sorry for someone, without necessarily sharing their feelings.
- Compassion is empathy that leads to wanting to help.
A child can be kind because they were told to be kind. Empathy goes further. It means the child understands why a friend is sad and chooses a helpful response.
Model Empathy in Everyday Moments
Children learn most from what they see adults do. Modelling empathy is one of the most powerful ways to teach it.
Try these simple habits in daily life:
- Name your own feelings out loud: "I feel frustrated because the bus is late."
- Show how you respond to someone else's feelings: "Your friend looks sad. Let's ask if she wants to play."
- Apologise when you get something wrong, and explain what you will do differently.
Watch out: Children copy what adults do, not only what they say. A calm, kind tone during a disagreement teaches more than any lecture about kindness.
How to Explain Empathy to a Child in Simple Words
Young children need short, concrete language. Try a simple script:
"Empathy means knowing how someone else feels, and caring about it. When your friend is sad, you can notice it and say something kind."
Keep it short and repeat it often. Connect the idea to moments children already understand, such as when they feel left out, tired or excited.
Step-by-Step: Helping Children Name Feelings and See Other Points of View
Naming feelings is the first step towards understanding other people. Follow these steps in order:
- Notice the feeling. Point out the emotion you see: "Your face looks worried."
- Give it a name. Use simple words like happy, sad, angry, scared or excited.
- Connect it to a body sign. "Where do you feel that in your body?"
- Ask what might help. "What could make this feel better?"
- Move to someone else. "How do you think your friend feels right now?"
Repeat these steps often, using real moments from the day rather than invented examples.
Reading Faces and Body Language
Children learn to read faces and bodies with lots of practice. Use photographs, picture books and real people to explore:
- Eyes that are wide or narrow
- Mouths that smile, frown or wobble
- Arms crossed tightly or held open
Ask, "What do you notice?" before you tell them what the face means. This builds their own thinking.
Role-Play and Pretend Play Activities
Pretend play is one of the best tools for building empathy. Children can try out different feelings and points of view in a safe space.
- Feelings charades: Act out an emotion and let others guess it.
- Teddy bear doctor: A child "looks after" a sad toy and talks about how it feels.
- Swap roles: Two children take turns being the one who is upset and the one who helps.
The Pash the Gentle Helper storybook and soft toy can support this kind of play. The story shows children how to be gentle with others and with themselves.
Empathy Activities for Preschoolers and Toddlers
Young children learn through movement, touch and play, but their capacity for empathy shifts noticeably between the toddler years and the preschool years. Toddlers are still learning that other people have feelings separate from their own; preschoolers are just beginning to connect a feeling to a cause and a possible response. Keep activities short, with a clear start and finish, and match them to the child's stage rather than their age in months.
Activities for Toddlers (roughly 18 months to 3 years)
At this stage, empathy is mostly about noticing and mirroring. Toddlers may pat a crying friend or offer a toy, but they may also become upset themselves when someone else is upset. That is normal.
- Feelings circle: Sit together and pass a soft toy. The child holding it names one feeling, or points to a face card if they are not yet talking.
- Mirror game: Children copy each other's faces to show different emotions. This builds awareness of facial cues without demanding a verbal response.
- Helping hands: Give small jobs, such as carrying a cup for a friend or putting a book back on the shelf. The goal is the habit of noticing a need, not the perfection of the task.
Watch out: Toddlers often respond to another child's distress by seeking comfort for themselves. Resist the urge to correct this; instead, comfort both children and name what you see: "You felt sad when your friend cried.
Activities for Preschoolers (roughly 3 to 5 years)
Preschoolers can begin to link a feeling to a cause and to think about what might help. Activities can therefore include a simple problem-solving step.
- Feelings charades: Act out an emotion and let others guess it. Then ask, "What might have made this person feel that way?"
- Teddy bear doctor: A child "looks after" a sad toy and talks about how it feels and what it needs. This is a safe way to practise a caring response.
- Swap roles: Two children take turns being the one who is upset and the one who helps. Afterward, ask the helper, "How did it feel to help?"
The Pash the Gentle Helper soft toy can be used during these games. Pash can be the one who is sad, the one who helps, or the one who watches and learns.
Keeping it realistic
A common pattern is to introduce one new feeling word per week and revisit it in stories, play and real moments. If an activity falls flat, shorten it rather than abandoning it, two minutes of genuine noticing is worth more than ten minutes of forced participation.
Teaching Empathy in the Classroom: Routines That Work
Classroom routines make empathy part of everyday school life. Predictable routines feel safe for children and make it easier to practise kindness.
- Morning check-in: Each child shows a feelings card or points to a face chart.
- Calm-down corner: Children learn to notice their own feelings and take a break.
- Buddy system: Pair children for tasks so they practise helping each other.
A common mistake is trying to cover too many feelings at once. Focus on a few words a week and revisit them often.
Choosing Books About Empathy for Children
Picture books give children a safe way to explore feelings. When choosing books, look for:
- Clear, simple pictures that show a range of emotions
- Characters who make mistakes and then repair them
- Stories that ask questions about how characters feel
Read the same book several times. Children often notice new feelings and details on each reading.
Picture books give children a safe way to explore feelings, and the article's guidance points to a few features that make a book worth choosing.
| Feature to look for | Why it helps | What to check |
|---|---|---|
| Clear, simple pictures | Shows a range of emotions | Faces are easy to read |
| Characters who make mistakes and repair them | Models repair after getting something wrong | The character makes amends |
| Stories that ask questions about feelings | Prompts children to think about how characters feel | Questions about feelings appear in the story |
| Language that matches the child's age | Keeps the child engaged | Words and sentences suit the child |
When a Child Does Not Respond Empathetically and What to Try Next
Some children seem uninterested in other people's feelings, or they react with anger, silence or even laughter when someone is hurt. This is common and does not mean they will never learn empathy. It often means the child is overwhelmed, has not yet learned the script, or expresses concern in a way adults do not immediately recognise.
Practical scripts for common moments
When a child refuses to share:
"Your friend looks sad because they wanted a turn.
When a child laughs when someone is hurt:
"I can see you're laughing.
Laughter is often a sign of discomfort rather than cruelty.
When a child ignores a crying peer:
"Your friend is crying.
This lowers the demand and builds the habit of noticing before responding.
A step-by-step response
- Stay calm. A calm adult helps a child settle. If you are upset, say so: "I'm feeling cross, so I'm going to take a breath before we talk."
- Name what you see: "You look cross. Something happened." Avoid asking "Why did you do that?", young children often cannot answer.
- Wait before you correct. A child who is upset cannot think about others yet. Give a short pause.
- Model the response you want and keep it short: "I'm going to check if your friend is okay. You can come with me or wait here."
- Return to the moment later, when everyone is calm. Ask, "What could you do next time your friend feels like that?"
Watch out: Correcting a child in front of the other child can trigger shame and defensiveness. Where possible, move to a quieter space for the repair conversation.
Neurodiversity, temperament and different ways of showing care
Not every child expresses empathy through eye contact, words or a hug. Some children with autism or ADHD, and some simply shy or highly sensitive children, may show concern by bringing an object, standing nearby, or telling an adult rather than comforting directly.
Try these adjustments:
- Describe rather than demand: "I noticed you brought your friend a blanket. That was kind." This reinforces the child's own way of showing care.
- Offer choices: "You can sit with your friend, get a grown-up, or bring them a toy. Which feels right?"
- Avoid forcing eye contact or physical comfort. These can be uncomfortable for some children and do not indicate a lack of empathy.
When to seek additional support
If a child consistently shows no response to others' distress over many months, or if their reactions are unusually intense or prolonged, talk with a school special educational needs coordinator (SENCO), a GP or a child development professional. They can help you find the right support.
Ready to bring feelings into everyday conversations? Explore the Mood Munchers range and find a character to start with.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do you explain empathy to a young child?
Use simple words and a familiar example. Tell the child that empathy means noticing how someone else feels and caring about it, a bit like how they feel when a friend is sad. Ask questions such as 'How do you think your friend feels right now?' Keep the explanation short, repeat it in different everyday moments, and link it to feelings the child already knows, such as happiness or worry. Young children learn the idea through many small conversations rather than one long lesson, so brief and frequent talk works best.
At what age can children start to understand empathy?
Children show early forms of empathy well before they can explain it. Many toddlers notice when someone is upset and may offer a hug or a toy, though they often cannot yet tell what another person is thinking. Understanding grows through the preschool years as children begin to see that others can hold different feelings and views. Adults can support this at every stage by naming feelings, modelling kindness and choosing activities that match the child's age and stage of development.
What activities help young children develop empathy?
Useful activities include role-play with puppets or dolls, emotion charades where children act out a feeling for others to guess, and story time with books that pause to ask how a character feels. Caring tasks such as helping to water plants or sharing snacks also build empathy because children see the effect of their actions on others. Choose one activity at a time, keep it short, and repeat favourites so children can practise the same skill in new ways.
What should I do if my child seems unkind or lacks empathy?
Stay calm and avoid labelling the child as unkind. Name the feeling you think the other child has, explain the effect of the behaviour in simple terms and help the child make things right, for example by offering a hug or a kind word. Young children are still learning, so an unempathetic moment is usually a chance to practise rather than a sign of a lasting problem. If you have ongoing concerns, talk with your child's teacher, health visitor or GP for support.
